My Evanescent Sphere
by el-Jimmeister
Summary: My Immortal: In Space! After Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way cast the Avada Kedavra spell on Voldemort, several dimensional rifts got created which tore apart the fabric of space. Goffik antics ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Jimmy's Notes:

The fanfic is basically _My Immortal_ , set in the universe of the Star Ocean series. This is the second My Immortal parody I'll be working on, usually when I need to take breaks between writing _Image._

I do not own any of the characters in both Star Ocean and My Immortal. I only own the idea behind this parody. Albel Nox is a major fucking hottie that Ebony Way will surely fall for. He's basically the visual kei J-RPG counterpart of Draco. Honorable mention goes to Arumat Thanatos, but since I don't really know much about The Last Hope, I will set the fanfic in Till the End of Time, which is honestly the only game in the series I have actually played and dearly enjoyed.

Also, I don't hate Rinoa at all. She's an okay character, but I really do prefer Ultimecia.

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AN: Special fangz (get it, 'cause I'm goffik?) to my favorite Guardian Force, Diablos, whom I have renamed Raven in my FF8 game (RINOA IS A FUCKING PREPPY BITCH I HATE HER. ULTIMECIA ROXXX!), for apparently helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin (NOT THAT PREPPY BIEBER BITCH) you're the love of my depressing life! You rock too! MCR ROX!

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Chapter 1

Hi, my name is what? My name is who? My name is- chika chika!

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!

Anyway, (geddit? Way, like Gerard way?) I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reach my mid-back, and icy blue eyes like limpid tears. A lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee, a Terran goffik rock musician from the early 21st century AD. (AN: If you don't know who she is, then get the hell out of here!). I'm not descended from Gerard Way, another Terran goffik rock musician from the early 21st century, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a Rezerbian, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a symbologist. I'm a member of Quark, and I often ride in a spaceship called the Diplo. I have been in Quark for seven years, and I am seventeen years old.

I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. Specifically, the goth culture of the early 21st century in Terra interests me. I love Hot Topic, and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today, I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking around the hallways of the lower floor of the spaceship. The stars visible from the shatterproof windows seemed to move at almost the speed of light against a backdrop of jet black, so there was no brilliant sun I could see which I was very happy about. A lot of preppy crew members stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Albel Nox!

"What's up Albel?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLEASE tell me. Fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Fangz to Diablos/Raven for helping me with this chapter! By the way, preps, stop flaming my story OK!

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Chapter 2

The next day, I woke up in my bedroom. The view outside the window was still that of stars moving across an invisible horizon nearly at light speed, which I knew of even though I was still in the coffin-pod I use as a bed. I then opened my coffin-pod and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin-pod was black ebony (like my name!), and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the edges. I got out of my coffin-pod and took off my giant MCR shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots, and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

I went into the next room, where my best friend, Willow (AN: Raven, this is you!), stays in. She woke up, and then grinned at me. She flipped her waist-length, raven-black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. In that order. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup, which consisted of black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner.

"Oh my fucking Goff, I saw you talking to Albel Nox yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Albel?" she asked as we went out of her room and into the common hall upstairs.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I shouted, even though I have always wanted to take a peek inside that goffik sarong with that super-high slit.

"Yeah, right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Albel walked up to me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I replied flirtily.

"Guess what," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in the arena on top of the Kirlsa Training Facility," he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Goff!" I screamed. I love Good Charlotte. They are my favorite band, besides My Chemical Romance.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

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Jimmy's Note: Yep, I have managed to find a plausible way to get GC, an early 21st century rock band, to have a concert 800 years or so into the future.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMING THE STORY, PREPS, OK! Otherwise, fangz to the goffik people for the good reviews! FANGZ AGAIN, RAVEN! Oh yeah, by the way, I don't own this game, nor the lyrics to Good Charlotte.

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Chapter 3

On the night of the concert, I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped, red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnets on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book (50 Shades of Grey, by the way) while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some Good Charlotte. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then, I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood, so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went to the transporter room. Albel was waiting there in front of the machine that would lead to the escape pod. He was wearing a Simple Plan crop top (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of kewl boiz wear it ok!). He still had his metal claw on his left arm. For some reason, he would never take it off, but nevertheless, he looked so fucking hot and goffik in it. He even uses it to slit his right wrist.

"Hi Albel!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony," he said back. We walked into the Mercedes Benz escape pod (code-numbered 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way, we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and did drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. The band were actually ultra-realistic holographic images of live footage from eight hundred years ago or so, but the advances in technology have allowed people to watch them live. Ever since the war between Airyglyph and Aquaria ended, the roof of the training facility had been used as concert grounds. Of course, since Albel basically owns the place and even refers to it as his turf, we got VIP treatment.

 _"You come in cold, you're covered in blood_  
 _They're all so happy you've arrived_  
 _The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom_  
 _She sets you free into this life,"_ sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song).

"Joel is so fucking hot," I said to Albel, pointing to him as he sung, filling the arena with his amazing voice.

Suddenly, Albel looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok; I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really, fool?" asked Albel sensitively and he put his claw-arm around me, all-protective.

"Really," I said. "Besides I wasn't born yet by the time Joel and his band were in their actual prime, and he married some preppy bitch. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

"What a preppy little maggot she is indeed," Albel agreed.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Albel. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. The precise AI technology did program them with the functions that made them act like the real guys. We got GC concert tees. Albel and I crawled back (the mosh pit really was that intense because of the goffikness of everyone there) into the Mercedes-Benz escape pod, but Albel didn't go back into the spaceship, instead he drove the pod into...

the Duggus Forest!

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Jimmy's Note: Because Elicoor II is an underdeveloped planet with a level of civilization equal to 17th century Earth, people there are more willing to see holograms of bands from 800 years or so into the past live in concert, so there's Fol to be made from that. The game and this story take place in SD 772, which is equivalent to 2858 AD.


	4. Chapter 4

Jimmy's Note: I might be rewriting this a little bit... as though I am Tara's beta-reader. I think this is a practice of sorts for the love scenes that will be in the later chapters of _Image_ [although _Image_ will not be as graphic, focusing more on the emotional connections rather than the physical]. Or a parody of erotica in general. I dunno.

WARNING: EXPLICIT [horribly-written] SMUT. VIOWER EXCRETION STRONLY ADVISD! [Jimmy's Note: I actually would like legit con-crit on how to write smut though.]

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AN: I said, stop flaming, okay! Ebony's name is ENOBY [Jimmy's Note: Ha!] not Mary Sue, OK! ALBEL IS SOOOOO IN LOVE with her [Jimmy's Note: Yeah, right. If Ebony was a canon character, Albel would most likely put her in the bottom of his hierarchy of fools, worms, and maggots.] that he is acting different! They knew each other before, okay!

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Chapter 4

"ALBEL!" I shouted. "What do you think you're doing? I won't forget this!" [Jimmy's Note: If you have actually played the game, this line is gonna be memetically familiar to you.]

Albel didn't answer, but he stopped the escape pod after landing it first, of course, and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Albel leaned in extra-close, and I looked into his gothic, red eyes (they are actually that way in canon [Jimmy's Note: yep.]) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and wickedness that did befit his title of 'The Wicked.' And then, suddenly, I didn't feel mad anymore.

"You really are a fool, aren't you?" Albel smirked, his warm breath brushing against the fine hairs on my multi-ringed left ear. I was stunned by the deep, velvety timbre of his voice. "You little maggot... you wormed your way into my heart. Slithering..."

And then... suddenly, just as I was about to process whatever the fuck was going on as he masterfully ran his good hand on my sensitive, pale skin, Albel kissed me passionately. He was as passionate a kisser as he was a warrior. Albel then got on top of me and we started to make out keenly, pressing me against an old tree which was really a monster. A half-asleep grapebind, in fact. He snaked his tongue into my soft, black lips and parted them as he explored my mouth. I tasted a sharp, delicious flavor of chives and nicotine as our tongues battled for dominance inside of me. I felt his long, two-toned hair brush against my skin, and I shook in pleasure at the delicate sensation.

He took off my top, and I effortlessly took off his flimsy clothes with mere swift, dexterous motions of my manicured hands. I found out that he wears a thong that complemented his nice, shapely arse that accentuated his long, slender legs, and that they're purple, the brilliant, yet goffik hue rendered the way it is even under the faint moonlight that lit the woods and gave a faint glimmer to the nearby spring water. I took off my bra, and he immediately cupped both his hands on my ample breasts, his good hand squeezing them vigorously. I felt a slight shiver run up my spine as the cold metal of his claw gently tweaked my already-hard nipples, and while he was playing with them, he looked at me deviously, his stunning, blood-red eyes smoldering with lust as he licked the long, slender fingers on his good hand. He reached for me from underneath, preparing me for what was to come.

"You pitiful fool. You like that, don't you?" Albel moaned against my collarbone and kissed it. He buried his face between my breasts and kissed the skin there, as well.

"Give it to me, big boy!" I groaned goffikally. He removed his fingers from me.

Then, with an upward thrust, he put his flesh kabob into my tunnel of love and we did it for the first time. I could feel his heart beating against my bare chest, the rhythm becoming faster with every second. Our bodies were heaving, drenched in sweat that glistened like fresh spring water.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Please... don't stop..." I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm, and for the first time in what seemed to be a while, I felt so alive. We started to kiss everywhere, and my pale body became all warm. With his claw, he scratched the sensitive area near my neck and drew blood from it. He lapped up the crimson life-fluid and left more bruising kisses on the tender, reddened skin. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was...

Duck Vox! On a rainbow dragon that breathes cotton candy!

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Jimmy's Note: Somehow, My Immortal would actually be more plausible if it took place in the Star Ocean universe. Hmm. And _Image's_ cracktastic summary actually does happen here. Oh, Gog. What the fuck did I just write? [headdesk] Nope, _not_ a flimsily-veiled excuse to fangirl over Albel. _Not at all._ Jeez, I make E.L. James look like the best fucking writer in all of the Eternal Sphere. And yep, I took the silly euphemisms and cliches off of Steve Almond's guide on how [not] to write sex scenes.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! If you flame, it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Duck Vox swore is because he was about to run out of MP [mental fatigue], ok! And Dejison also hit him with a Duck Duck bomb! And on top of that, he was mad at them for having the hawtest sex0rz evar!

PS. I am not updating until I get five GOFF reviews!

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Chapter 5

Duck Vox made Albel and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. Yep, I agree with him there, though, that Ludacris is indeed a preppy fool.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Albel comforted me. When we went back to Castle Airyglyph, Duck Vox took us to Demetrio and Count Woltar, who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Duggus Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Count Woltar.

"How dare you?" demanded Demetrio.

And then Albel shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER, YOU MAGGOTS!"

Everyone was quiet. Duck Vox and Count Woltar still looked mad, but Demetrio said, "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Albel and I went upstairs while the nobles glared at us. Duck Vox looked as though he was about to put treason charges on Albel again and get him locked up in that Satan-forsaken dungeon.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Albel asked me gently.

"Yeah, I guess..." I lied. I went to the girls' wing of the palatial guest rooms and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Albel was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I Just Wanna Live' by Good Charlotte. [Jimmy's Note: I am now having hilarious mental images of Crispin Freeman, Albel's voice actor in the English version of the game, singing the falsetto part of this song.] I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

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Jimmy's Note: ...and the insanity continues.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Shut up, preps, ok!

PS. I won't update until you give me GOFF reviews!

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Chapter 6

The next day I woke up in my pod-coffin. Apparently, I'm back on the spaceship called the DIABLO (because Diplo is a fucking preppy name, like that DJ that had done a song with Justin FUCKING Bieber. Fangz to Nerd-Artist23 for informing me of that preppy bitca!) even if I was pretty sure I was in one of the guest rooms in Castle Airyglyph the night before. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the mess hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal from the in-house food replicator with REAL blood from an Earthling prep instead of milk, and a glass of neon green blood extracted from a poser who used to inhabit some underdeveloped planet. Suddenly, someone bumped into me. All the blood, both red and neon green, spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that was going down his face, and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have his reading glasses, and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Albel's naturally-red eyes. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him, kind of like an erection, only I'm a girl so I didn't get one, you sicko.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Fayt LeinSATAN (NOT LeinGOD because he's a Satanist now), although most people call me Vampire these days," he grumbled. [Jimmy's Note: I am still trying to wrap my head around the canon Fayt Leingod ever matching Tara's preceding description of goff!Harry, whose role is reprised by Fayt in this AU of My Immortal.]

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood," he giggled. "After all, I AM the Embodiment of Destruction!"

"Well, I _am_ a vampire," I confessed. [Jimmy's Note: Funnily enough, Albel actually has an attack skill called Vampiric Flash. And no, it _does not_ involve Albel flashing his up-sarong.]

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah!" I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then, Albel came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

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Jimmy's Note: Anachronism incoming! It would actually make no sense at all for Ebony to meet Albel first before Fayt if she's a Rezerbian who is also a Quark member, but... meh. _Artistic License: Crackfic_ applies here.

Nerd-Artist23, a fellow DeviantArt user, actually did tell me in a comment that Diplo [aside from being the canon name of the Quark spaceship under Maria Traydor's command] is a DJ who had already collaborated with Justin Bieber, an obvious prep. I thought that some Canon Defilement would be in order in that case.


	7. Chapter 7: Bring Me to Life

Jimmy's Note: ...a wild chapter name appears! And an _even wilder_ Albel Nox in fishnet stockings!

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AN. Well, okay, you guys. I'm only writing this because I got five good reviews. And by the way, I won't write the next chapter until I get TIN GOD VONS! STOP FLAMING OR I WILL REPORT YOU! Evony isn't a Mary Sue; it's a video game just like the Eternal Sphere and even Star Ocean itself. Come play, my Lord. Ebony, however, isn't a perfect girl. SHE'S A SATANIST. And she has problems; she's depressed for Goff's sake!

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Chapter 7 - Bring Me to Life

Albel and I held our pale, white hands with black nail polish as we went downstairs. I was wearing red Satanist signs on my nails in obviously red nail polish. (AN: See, does that sound like a Mary Sue to you? [Jimmy's Note: Yep. Although I have had similar nail art before. Only, it's my name in runic instead of Satanist signs. It's good to have a first name and a surname that both have five letters.]) I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Albel. Anyway, I went downstairs to the lower deck of the spaceship where the rooms are excitedly with Albel. We went into his room and he entered the commands to keep the automated door locked. Then...

We started Frenching passively and we took off each other's clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up with his good hand before I took off my top, even after I have mentioned that we took off each other's clothes enthusiastically. Then, I took off my black leather bra and he took off his black, leather sarong that was all ripped at the ends and he peeled his thigh-high fishnet stockings down his pale, long, shapely legs. He also took off his black, see-through thong that had pattern of goffik, red broken hearts on it. We went on the bed and started making out naked. And then, he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (AN: See, is that stupid? [Jimmy's Note: Yep, although Fayt, Ymmyj, Cliff, and every other Albel fangirl/fanboy ever might like it _a little too much_ if they ever see Albel in fishnet stockings and a see-through thong with heart patterns on it.])

"Oh Albel, Albel!" I screamed while getting an orgasm, when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Albel's flesh-arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody, gothic writing were the words... Vampire! Well, okay. It was just one word. [Jimmy's Note: Yep. Fayt/Albel shipper here.]

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Albel pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDS anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Albel ran out even though he was naked, save for the claw he really never wanted to take off at all costs whatsoever. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in the conference room where Vampire and the others were having a meeting.

"VAMPIRE LEINSATAN, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. [Jimmy's Note: The 'MOTHERFUKER' spelling is exclusively for Duck Vox/Dumblydore, aparently.]

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	8. Chapter 8

Jimmy's Note: ...Sophia-bashing incoming! And a wild POV shift appears! I would assume that had Tara been a Star Ocean fan, she's probably gonna hate Sophia for being a prep. Well, Sophia _is_ supposed to be a prep/girly girl in canon, so yeah. I think Sophia is okay, though, although I personally prefer Maria Traydor, Mirage Koas, and Nel Zelpher over her.

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AN: Stop flashing, ok! If you do, then you are a prep. [Jimmy's Note: Funnily enough, the goffs in the Taraverse and almost all its parallels have more exhibitionist tendencies than the preps. Case in point, Albel Nox in this cracktastic story actually decided to go out NAKED to follow Ebony _all the way_ to the conference room.]

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Chapter 8

Everyone in the meeting stared at me and then Albel came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. Everyone was mouth agape and looking at his rather impressive... worm.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Albel screamed sadly.

My friend, B'loody Maria Traydor-Smith, smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long, waist-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Maria was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are Rezerbians, and one of them is also a symbologist, but Luther killed her mother, and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. When she was twelve, she and her adoptive mother, Jessie, had escaped to a transport ship after an Aldian attack, but the ship was too slow to actually escape the attacks. Jessie had sacrificed her own life in order for Maria to flee against her will in an escape pod, and her adoptive father died in the attacks, as well. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Traydor. (Since she has converted to Satanism, she became a member of Quark instead of the Federation, and eventually, became its leader.)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Demetrio demeaned angrily in his cold voice, but I ignored him. I have no fucking idea how the hell he got to the spaceship in the first place when he's supposed to be in Airyglyph attending to his duties as part of the Dragon Brigade or something.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Albel!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped. Wait, did that make any sense? That did not sound right. What I meant to say was that I could not believe _Albel_ for cheating on me with Vampire. Meh... My coherence probably went out the spaceship's shatterproof windows because I was so fucking angry.

XXX Sudden shift to Albel's POV XXX

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi, and so is Ebony) for a while but then the fool broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Sophia Esteed, who now calls herself Britney Kardashian-Jenner, a foolish, preppy fucker who was just another worm. Vampire and I were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a maggoty prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Albel anymore!" said Vampire.

XXX Back to Ebony's POV XXX

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the conference room and rode an escape pod to the Duggus Forest where I had lost my virility (and my virginity) to Albel, and then I started to burst into tears.

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	9. Chapter 9

AN: Stop flaming, ok! I didn't play all the games, and I have not read the doujinshis! This is only from the the third game, ok, so it's not my fault if Duck Vox swears! Besides, I SAID HE WAS MENTALLY FATIGUED AND DEJISON HAD HIT HIM WITH A DUCK-DUCK BOMB! And the reason why Demetrio doesn't like Fayt is because he's a Christian [Christianity had already reached Elicoor II after missionaries aboard the spaceship Evangeline had spread the word of Jesus to their planet] and Vampire is a Satanist! MCR ROX!

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Chapter 9

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Albel for cheating on me. I began to cry against the grapebind where I did it with Albel.

Then, all of a sudden, a horrible man with purple eyes and blond hair and everything started flying towards me with his weird mechanical wings! He had blond hair (basically like Luther in the game) and he was wearing white and gold, so he was obviously not gothic. It was... Luther! Duh!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Luther shouted, "Binding Field!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Luther fell to the ground and started to scream as a fluffy, goffik black Persian cat with sinister, amber eyes emerged from a void in space and started crawling in his skin so that his wounds, they will not heal. Surely, fear is how he would fall as he confuses what is real. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist, so I stopped.

"Ebony!" he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Leinsatan!"

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Albel had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Albel went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? What if he still hasn't gotten time to cover up that tacky tattoo?

"No, Luther!" I shouted back.

Luther gave me a phase gun even though I already had one which had been custom-made and issued to me by Quark. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Albel!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Luther got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis," he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou knoweth what will happen to Albel!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily, his mechanical wings leaving otherworldly, cold air in its flapping motions.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Albel came into the woods. I noticed that he had already covered up the Vampire tattoo with an awesome dragon tattoo.

"Albel!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi," he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No," he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me," I explained.

"That's okay," he said all depressed and we went back to the Diablo together making out.

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Jimmy's Notes:

Binding Field is actually one of Ethereal Queen's attack skills, which traps a character in some sort of sphere of light and renders them unable to act until the field wears off.

I decided to give Ebony some attack skills that are unique to her, as though she is a player character in the game. Crookshanks is supposed to be an attack skill that summons her animal familiar spirit, a black Persian cat with sinister, amber eyes, to claw at the enemy and unleash a barrage of quick, high-damaging combos. Similar to Maria's Energy Burst skill, the attacks persist until the player stops the hold on the corresponding attack button or her fury gauge empties itself.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Stop it, you gay fags. If you do not like my story, then fuck off! PS. It turns out B'loody Maria isn't an Earthling after all. She and Vampire are evil. That's why they defected from the Federation, ok!

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Chapter 10

I was really scared about Luther all day. I was even upset when I went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band, Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it, and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot, and MCR, and that we were 21st century goff culture revivalists. The other people in the band were B'loody Maria, Vampire, Albel, Cliff (although we call him Ravynne Diabolo now. The extra o is there so as to prevent confusion with Diablo, the new, goffik name of the spaceship. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Adray. Only today, Albel and Vampire were depressed, so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew that Albel was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was part-Rezerbian too, and the only way you can kill Rezerbians is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak. Norton, another Rezerbian, was killed when a steak fell on him when Cliff bombed his hideout back in the Ruins of Coffir.) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly burst into tears.

"Ebony! Are you okay?" B'loody Maria asked in a concerned voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I continued, "I'm not o-fucking-kay! [Jimmy's Note: Missed opportunity, Tara. That was not in the original.] Well, Luther came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Fayt! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Albel. But if I don't kill Fayt, then Luther will fucking kill Albel!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly, Albel jumped out from behind a wall. So, he was behind that wall all this time, or what?

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking foolish worm of a maggot!" (See, is that out of character? [Jimmy's Note: Yep. It is out of character for Albel to do that, and more especially what he's gonna do in the next scene.])

I started to cry, and cry, and cry, and cry, and weep. Albel started to cry as well, being all too sensitive. Then he ran out, still crying and bawling, weeping, moaning, and gnashing his teeth.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly, Duck Vox walked in angrily! How the hell did he get on board the Diablo if he's supposed to still be on Elicoor II? His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't because he was mentally fatigued and about to run out of MP.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (See, that's basically not swearing, and this time, he was really upset and you will see why.) "Ebony, Albel has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his right wrist with his claw." But isn't supposed to be impossible for him to die like that? Unless, of course, he enchanted his claw with holy runes or dipped it in steak myoglobin...

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Jimmy's Note: ...it is a weeping and a moaning and a gnashing of teeth! Yep, I just swooped in, singing a goffik version of a Kanye West song.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I said, stop flaming, preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! So see for yourself if it's stupid. By the way, fangz to my friend Raven for helping me!

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Chapter 11

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Maria tried to comfort me, but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself out. Duck Vox chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I went to the bathroom, took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a tough steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it entersandmanly. [Jimmy's Note: Geddit, 'cause I am a metalhead?] I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed because... Demetrio was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Schweimer was masticating to it! They were riding on celestial dragon-ships that were made of motorcycles that made godless love to headless women! Apparently, they have also learned how to use cameras and fly into outer space!

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Ethereal Blast!" he yelled at Demetrio and Schweimer, pointing his Satanic demon-sword which was shaped like the fresh womb of a succubus. He floated into air and sprouted gothic fallen angel (Andy Biersack is sooooo hawt.) wings from his back, emitting black rays of the dark light of destruction aimed at the two peeping toms. I took my own custom-made, high-caliber phase gun with the MCR logo on it, not the awful one Luther gave me, and shot Demetrio and Schweimer a gazillion times with eldritch, black lasers which were red around the edges. They both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Duck Vox ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Demetrio and Schweimer and then he waved his hand and suddenly...

Adray ran outside on his hoverboard and said, "Everyone, we need to talk."

"What do you know, Adray? You're just a silly old knight from Aquaria who tries to marry off his daughter to just about any man you come across!"

"I MAY BE AN AQUARIAN KNIGHT..." Adray paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be," Demetrio said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Duck Vox's symbology had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled madly.

Schweimer held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined, but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do, like how it feels when I do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Schweimer said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

And then, I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE... BECAUSE... " Adray said and he paused mid-air dramatically, waving his tattooed hand. Then, he swooped in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffik?" Demetrio asked in a little, pathetically scared voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

Wait. What the fuck just happened? That old geezer loves me? Gross!

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Jimmy's Notes: ...so it seems I am already 1/4th done with this. And I have not updated _Image_ in a while. Actually, I was just supposed to write this as a break between writing for _Image_ , but this overtook in terms of inspiration. Right now, I'm stuck at Chapter 4 of _Image_ , although it's about to be finished as of this point, 122115.

Tough steak is an actual item in the game that, if used about two consecutive times on one character in the camp menu, will actually incapacitate/KO them via MP-kill. So yep, it does make sense for Ebony to to use tough steak to attempt to kill herself. In the cooking aspect of the inventing/item creation sidequest, tough steak is considered a crafting failure similar to spicy cake and cheap sashimi.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Stop flaming, ok. Adray is a pedo, too. A lot of people in American schools are like that. I wanted to address the issue! How do you know that Demetrio isn't a Christian? Plus, Adray isn't really in love with Ebony; that was Dion, ok! (He had ditched that preppy bitch Ameena for Ebony, too.)

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Chapter 12.

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Albel had given me in case anything happened to him. According to him, it was a dagger that his father Glou had used in some battles, and it had also been passed down the Nox family for generations as a heirloom. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy, but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I heard a sudden, piercing scream of a man. I thought that it was Adray, but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OH MY FUCKING GOFF! NOOOOO! MY RUNES HURT!" And then, his eyes rolled up and his skin glowed an eldritch white. Only the whites of his eyes could be seen.

I stopped. "How did you know?" Know what? I didn't know what the hell I have just asked, and I didn't make any sense whatsoever. I meant to have asked what the hell was going on.

"I saw it! And the pentagram runes on my back have turned back into lightning bolts!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have the symbological tattoos anymore!" I shouted.

"I still do, but Diabolo changed them into pentagrams for me and I always cover it up with foundation if my clothes do not conceal them," he said back. "Anyway, my symbol tattoos hurt, along with my head, and the blood-red pentagram tattoos turned back into blue lightning bolts! Save me! ...then, I had a vision of what was happening to Albel... Luther has him bondage!" Wait, Albel is alive? But wasn't he found dead in his room after he committed suicide? Are those fuckers actually trying to play tricks on me!? Or maybe they're just saying that to shove me even further down my spiral into worsening depression!

Anyway, I was in the ship's sick bay now recovering from my slit wrists. Demetrio, Schweimer, and Adray were there too. They were going to St. Mango's, a subterranean prison in an area in Planet Styx guarded by first-class battleships from Azerbaijan, after they would recover because they were pedophiles and you can't have those fucking pervs in an anti-Federation organization such as Quark or in a military brigade such as the Crimson Blade where there are lots of hot girls (and hawt bisexual goff dudes who look like ladies) as members and even leaders. Duck Vox had constipated the cideo camera [Jimmy's Note: Keeping these malapropisms anyway, because they are golden.] they used to take clips of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway, Adray came to my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony, I need to tell you something," he said in a very serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, unless you wear it in a specifically goffik manner, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Adray had been mean to me before for being goffik.

"No, Ebony," Adray said. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too, you poser prep?" I asked because I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" he yelled angrily.

"No, you didn't," I replied.

"I saved you from getting a Paris Hilton-esque porn video made from your shower scene and being viewed by Demetrio and Schweimer," Adray reminded me. "Who MASTABATED (See, is that spelled wrong? [Jimmy's Note: Yep.]) to it," he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his hand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses," He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered, "Well, if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!"

"That's not a symbol; that's an MCR song," I corrected him wisely.

"I know; I was just warming up my vocal cords." Then, he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (For all you cool, goffik MCR fans out there, that is a tribute! Especially for Raven. I love you, girl!) imo noto okayo!"

And then, the roses turned into a huge, stygian black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was obviously black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"Okay, I believe you, Adray. Now, where the fuck is Albel?" I questioned. "I know that he's alive. Duck Vox lied to me!"

Adray rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame, but I could see nothing.

"You see, Ebony," Duck Vox said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "To see what is in the flames (Haha! You, reviewers! Flames! ...geddit?), you must find yourself first, okay?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF, OKAY, YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Adray yelled. Duck Vox looked shocked. I guess he didn't have mental fatigue or else he would have said something back.

Adray had stormed off back into his bed. "You're a liar, Duck Vox!"

Anyway, when I got better, I went downstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (If you don't know who she is, you're a prep, so fuck off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kowai, girl," B'loody Maria said sadly. [Jimmy's Note: I think Tara meant kowai (scary) and not kawaii (cute). It's more in character for her anyway.]

"Fangz, (geddit) you do, too," I said sadly too, and of course I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in the bathroom and set the window's opacity to 100 so that Demetrio and Schweimer couldn't spy on me this time. I went to the conference which was scheduled that day. Vampire was in the ship's libary, reading a medieval-era book about the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures, which was most likely a bestiary of sorts that detailed the different types of fur that various monsters had. He looked all depressed because Albel had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Albel. He was sucking some blood from a poser he had abducted from Vanguard III.

"Hi," he said in a depressed way.

"Hi back," I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Fayt had beautiful, red, gothic eyes so much like Albel's. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other out of nowhere.

"STOP IT NOW, YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Count Walmart, who was watching us, and so was everyone else. He was there, too? I figured that maybe he was able to catch up with Demetrio and Schweimer by riding one of those celestial motorcycle-shaped dragons.

"Vampire, you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Albel!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily even though I was still naked.

Just then, he started to scream. "OH MY FUCKING GOFF! NOOOOO! MY RUNES HURT!"

"Not again..." I muttered under my breath.

And then, his eyes rolled up, and his skin glowed an eldritch white. Only the whites of his eyes could be seen.

"Didn't this exact same thing happen just a while ago?" I was confused. "NO!" I then shouted as I saw him writhing in pain, and I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have the symbological tattoos anymore! Well, actually, I already knew, but..."

"I still do, but Diabolo changed them into pentagrams for me and I always cover it up with foundation if my clothes do not conceal them," he said back, and I let him finish even though I knew that he was about to tell me that Luther has Albel bondage. "Anyway, my symbol tattoos hurt, along with my head, and the blood-red pentagram tattoos turned back into blue lightning bolts! Save me! ...then, I had a vision of what was happening to Albel... Luther has him bondage!"

What the hell just happened? Is the fabric of time starting to fuck itself over?

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SPECIAL FANGZ TO RAVEN, MY GOFFIK BLOOD SISTER. WHAT THE FUCK; YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THIS!

...HEY, RAVEN. DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IS?

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Jimmy's Note: Well, now it kinda makes sense that Ebony would meet Fayt after already having screwed Albel. Because of all the timey-wimey universe-bending shit that goes on later in this fanfic, it's possible. Anything is possible with the tearing of the fabric of space and time. And in the headcanon in relation to this fic, Fayt is supposed to have symbology tattoos on his back that have manifested themselves when his Destruction powers have awakened when he destroyed the Vendeeni ship in the Airyglyph-Aquaria battle in the Kirlsa-Aire Hills. And in this timeline, Vox and the rest of the Dragon Brigade survived.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Raven, fangz for helping me again. I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard, but that guy is such a fucking sexbomb! PREPS STOP FLAMING!

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Chapter 13

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Duck Vox. We were so scared.

"Duke Vox, Duck Vox!" we both yelled. Duck Vox came there.

"What is it that you want now, you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Luther has Albel!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Albel!" we begged.

"No," he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Luther does to Albel. Not after how much he behaved in a way that is unbecoming for the captain of the Black Brigade, especially with YOU, Ebony," he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides, I never liked him that much anyway." Then, he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Albel!" he moaned. (AN: Don't you think gay guys are, like, so hot! [Jimmy's Note: Yep, I do ship Albel/Fayt, but not like this. I'll probably write a serious Albel/Fayt fanfic one of these days.])

"It's okay!" I tried to tell him, but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then, he brainstormed. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see," he said. He cast a spell. Then... suddenly, we were in the Spiral Tower!

We ran in with our weapons out just as we heard a croon, "Reeyoo, luoca, nasei, keeyoo, Allah Kedavra!"

It was... Luther! So, despite the fact that he's supposed to be the _creator of the universe_ , he's actually a Muslim?

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Jimmy's Note: 'Reeyoo, luoca, nasei, keeyoo' is what the attendant in Gemity chants when sending character data to the Eternal Sphere Terminal. It's most likely 4D language for 'open the door between space and time' or something like that.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Fuck off, PREPS, okay! Raven, fangz for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update, but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital 'cause I slit my wrists.

PS. I'm not updating until you give me 10 good reviews!

WARNING: SOME OF THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY SCARY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

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Chapter 14

We ran to where Luther was. It turned out that Luther wasn't there. Instead, the shark-faced guy who killed Dion was there. Albel was there, crying tears of blood. He was imprisoned in a transparent, crystalline polyhedron, his naked, wounded body completely exposed for all of us to see. Biwig was torturing him. It was a sexy sight to behold and all, but I had to rescue Albel! I tried to avert my sight from his heavenly naked body so that I can dispose of his tormentor, which is the reason why Fayt teleported me and himself to the Spiral Tower in the first place.

"Rid my sight, you despicable preps!" he shouted as I started shooting him with my phase gun. Us? Preps? Really? Oh... He's gonna pay dearly for this! Then, suddenly, he looked at me and fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.

"EbonyIloveyouwillyouhavesexwithme?" he said. (In this, he is sixteen years old, so he's not a pedophile, ok?)

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ebony, I love you. Will you have sex with me?" asked Biwig. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to fuck you? Goff, you are so fucked up, you fucking bastard," I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart with the dagger Albel gave me. Blood poured out of the cut like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I burst into tears sadly, even though I should feel some sort of schadenfreude for killing my boyfriend's tormentor.

"Biwig, what art thou doing?" called Luther. Then... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. Yep, because _the creator of the universe_ needs the extra height. So, we got on our hoverboards and flew back to the Diablo even though Fayt has teleportation powers. Of course, I set Albel free from his crystalline prison and gave him a small piece of sheer, black cloth to cover himself; just enough covering, but still scant enough for me to check out his nice, shapely arse on the way back to the spaceship. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There, I started crying.

"What's wrong, honey?" asked Albel, taking off the scant covering I gave him a while ago so that we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit, 'cause he's so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps except for B'loody Maria, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly, you fool? I don't like the preps anyway. Those pitiful worms? They are such fucking _sluts,_ " answered Albel.

"Yeah, but everyone is in love with me! Like, Demetrio and Schweimer took a video of me naked. Adray says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me, and now even _Biwig_ is in love with me! I just wanna be with you, okay, Albel! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (AN: Don't worry; Ebony isn't a snob or anything, but a lot of people have told her she's pretty.) "I'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

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Jimmy's Notes: ...but based on the logic that someone wanting to have sex with a 17-year-old is considered a pedophile, that would make _Albel_ a pedo in this story because he's supposed to be 24. And Fayt/Vampire is 19. Huh. Then again, there are Albel/Sophia and even Albel/ _Roger_ stories out there, and Sophia is actually the same age as Ebony... And Roger is _12._ Well. Okay. Consent laws are different in this story, and by the Suvian universe-bending powers vested in Ebony, the age of consent has been mandated to be 16 Earth-years across the entire universe. Then again, the age of consent in most of America is actually 16. And I was gay [still am, actually] for Albel when I was 13. And during the time the original My Immortal was written, Gerard Way was around 28-29 years old...

Oh, and did you guys see the shoutout to _My Inner Life_ somewhere in here?

Ebony still said that Satan created her instead of Luther because she adamantly refuses to believe that a prep created the entire universe. [Luther's name in the Japanese version is actually _Lucifer_ , so Ebony is still making sense...]


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